Dear Angela…2 years later

Dear Angela,

Oh, Time, such a fickle friend. I can hardly believe it holds 2 years of life without you in its hands. Contained in those two years are hundreds of new memories, memories without you in them. My children have grown, my mission has expanded, and by the grace of God my writing has improved. All the while my picture taking and blogging has decreased. Perhaps because you were always my partner in those passions.

You may not be a part of my new memories but I constantly see you and remember you in the small details of life.

Most recently I have found such joy and presence with you in using something which was once yours. Your nail polish. Your mom gave me your little blue box of nail polish colors when we went to visit her and Karsten this summer. At first I didn’t even give the box a second thought  but after a few months I opened it’s lid and beheld the simplest of treasures to me. Your colors. Colors I remember you wearing, colors I can see in pictures of you. Now, I wear these colors and, as silly as it sounds, feel like I have a tiny piece of you with me.

I traveled out of town to speak for Brave Parenting a few weeks ago and I chose to wear a color of yours that I remember as distinctly you. As nonsensical as it sounds I guess I wanted to have you with me. And, well, we did great – your nail color and I.

You’ll be happy to know I have finally embraced your love for LePens. I keep them inside my new planner for the year and have all my events color coded. I cannot get enough of them. I even bought some for X to help her study and stay organized. Every time I use them I think of you, so essentially I think of you every day, multiple times a day.

Where I really miss you the most though, my sweet friend, is in our spiritual mentorship. The days we made long avoiding all other responsibilities besides drinking coffee, sharing God’s word together, sharpening one another, listening, hearing, praying, leaning in, reaching out, and pouring everything we had to give into each others lives. Those days.

The Lord is so good though. He provided me with friends to fill this exact role and it is well with my soul. I’m fairly certain they, too, refer to me as their “crazy friend Kelly who adopted 7 kids and doesn’t need sleep.”  Some things never change, I will forever be an achiever at heart. Sleep just gets in the way of that.

Finally, I don’t know if you heard but I ran a marathon. Like a full 26.2 marathon. I think I’ve told everyone on this side of heaven about it so I figured I better share my achievement with your side as well. It was awesome.

Right about now I can just about see your head shaking as you roll your eyes at me and say, “I’m glad you had fun with that….”

Oh, my friend, I want nothing more than to look through my camera and see you with your camera centered in my frame. That was one of the beauties of our friendship, we documented it well.

Until I see you again,

Kelly

P.S. Do you remember when we walked something like 6 extra miles to eat at Grimaldi’s in Brooklyn? It was so worth it….

Oh yeah…..and this one is now 15 and learning to drive a car!! And she has a boyfriend.
If you could go ahead and pass Jesus a note when you see him saying its okay for him to come back any day now, I’m ready.

8 Comments

  1. Karol Balbin   •  

    Thank you Kelly for a walk down YOUR memory lane. We all have those memories with this precious girl. Yesterday was hard but God is good, all the time God is good.

  2. Amy   •  

    Miss her so much! Y’all’s relationship was so special.

  3. Kate   •  

    Every time you make me cry! I’ve cried many times this week, but these words are so sweet. We all miss her in our very special ways.

  4. Judith Bertels   •  

    You are a wonderful writer and speak my heart for how our Savior loves us and calls us to be just a little bit crazy and for sure “in love with Him”, I too understand that sleep gets in the way of what He calls us to do. Can we please send a request for 48 hours days. As I pray for Angela’s sweet mama and dad today, I also thank God for mama’s like her, who love deeply but also are able to give God the glory in the darkest days. We are praying for you.
    Serving with you,
    Judi

  5. Gail   •  

    This is so poignant. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for allowing Kathie to share it. May God continue to help you grow and mentor others as Angela mentored so many.

  6. SharonMays   •  

    This is beautiful thanks for sharing. We miss her too.

  7. Tiffany Keller   •  

    this is beautiful and so full of Ang and her beautiful spirit.

  8. Danice Oliver   •  

    Beautiful. Miss her so much. Lost my mother in November and honestly just do nothing but cry lately….lovely written just like you Kelly. Muah.