On an average day I feel like an average Mom.

I get less than average time with my kids – one hour of which is getting ready for school and I don’t count.  Otherwise I get either 4 or 1.5 hours in the evening with X and a few extra hours with E in the mornings some days.

Not a whole lot of time. Just thinking about it brings back all my thoughts and justifications of that potential stay at home job.

But since turning down that job I’ve really evaluated how I am spending that average of 10 hours a week with the kids. Am I doing “Mom duties” during that time? Cooking, cleaning, laundry, planning, organizing, etc… Or am I actually PRESENT there with my children in the few hours I have?

It comes down to this:  Mom duties are just going to have to wait till after bedtime. These things, while I know they are important to running a smooth flowing household, are meaningless to the kids. They simply don’t see them as important – it’s just doing something other that being with them.

Basically this recalculation of my time means more trampoline jumping.

Because they always ask and I usually say no. Now, I’m forcing myself to say yes. I don’t love jumping on the trampoline but they love when I do.

Often times, they don’t care what I do with them as long as it’s something.

It’s easy to think I’m “bending over backwards” for my kids just doing the constant duties required of any mother: cooking meals, packing lunches, doing laundry, fixing hair, cleaning up, running errands, giving baths, reading books, etc.

But really, I’m just doing bare minimum any Mom needs to do. It doesn’t feel that way sometimes but in my overall evaluation I know it’s true.

So if more trampoline jumping is what they want, I’ll give it to them. If all they want (and are begging me for) is to sit and watch Lego City: The Adventures of Clutch Powers with them, then that is what I’ll do.

I have to remind myself that it’s not a matter of when they say jump – I say how high? It’s a matter of spending time with them the way that they need me to at that time.

Some days X just wants to be alone with me. Some days she wants E along. Some days, E needs me to help him build something with Legos. Some days he just wants to play with Carter (the next door neighbor friend).

Every day is going to be different. I must learn to see their needs and aim to fulfill them that day.

I don’t want a day to pass where I missed out on an opportunity to show them extra love when they needed it, or a conversation that can only come with longer presence with one another, or simply learning what’s really on my child’s mind while we mindlessly look through Lego blocks for the Lego Harry Potter’s head.

The time will be here soon when my presence isn’t desired.

And then I’ll be the fool who missed out on it because I was washing dishes.

That thought is my driving force to change.

My commitment is this: When they ask for my presence – I’m there.

When I find myself doing tasks while they are doing nothing – I’m there.

When they ask me to bend over backwards – (hmmmm) I’ll try.

It’s amazing how when you try something you’re sure you can’t do, you find that you really CAN do it.

And God gives you a teaching moment – for everyone’s sake.

Everyone bends over backwards. Not just Mom.

I read that your comfort zone is really just a prison that keeps you locked up from doing the things you either don’t think you can do or don’t want to do.

How true. My comfort zone is not on that trampoline – or doing back bridges for that matter. But when I push myself out to do things that don’t necessarily feel natural I open up a realm of possibilities that God can use in my life.

God can’t use me when I locked up in my comfort zone.

I need to get out there and start bending over backwards and see what He has for me.

When I think of LOVE, this is the first thing that comes to mind.

Valentine’s Day to me is a simple reminder to LOVE everyone. Not just my husband and my children.

And to appreciate in LOVE all of the multitudes of blessings in my life. Love them for what they are – not just the stuff I have but the opportunities, the experiences, the challenges, the moments that bring JOY.

Today I’ll be LOVING breakfast with my kiddos, taking them to doctors visits, grocery shopping & working. Nothing exceptionally special or fun, but if there is LOVE mixed in – it’s a good day.

Ry and I rationalized since we do live in America…..

And even though this really isn’t our thing…

There’s something to be said about making some good food…

And sitting down all together….

to eat and watch a football game on television.

Because some rules are made to be broken…Newcom Rule #14: TV is never on during a meal

And because sometimes watching football isn’t so painful after all when you are doing it for the children’s JOY.

A night like this totally deserves a new dessert during half-time. This is my Gluten Free version of PW’s Apple Brown Betty.

Let it be known:

Our television (and our children) have experienced their first Super Bowl.

Now they can never come back to us in 20 years and tell us how we destroyed their lives because we deprived them of watching the Super Bowl as a kid.

I’ve lost a total of 7 pounds.

I plan to gain all 7 pounds in the form of Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Rolls this evening. And eggs. Bacon. Pancakes. Sausage.

The food I’ve missed the most is certainly breakfast.

After tonight I begin OPERATION: USE EVERYTHING UP. I have a decent amount of potatoes and onions left over so my menu this week is as follows…

• Sunday: Potato Soup (I will not hold back on the cheese and cream in this batch)
• Monday: We’ll be eating dinner out with a college friend who will be in town for a job interview
• Tuesday: Chicken kabobs (uses up my onions & peppers)
• Wednesday: Meatloaf muffins (only uses 1 onion but it’s meat – and that sounds so fabulous right now)
• Thursday: potato skins and chicken sausage (again, no skimping on the butter & cheese on these skins)
• Friday: *Life Group* Italian – Chicken/Spinach Florentine lasagna
• Saturday: Pan Fried Pork chops & scalloped potatoes

And when there’s extra time, I’ll be making a gluten free apple crisp to use up the extra granny smiths I have.

NOW – because I’m starving and craving anything I can get my hands on – I know someone is wondering….Why even bother? or What’s the point?

And my answer is simple: When I sacrifice things I easily take for granted on a daily basis (food) it’s a prominent thought in my mind all day long. I crave to be satisfied by good food. My body has the nutrients I need, but my flesh desires more because it knows it can have it.

It’s that sacrifice of the flesh that helps draw me closer to God. Because the thought is with me all day long (as I watch people eat Chik-fil-a and chocolate) – God is with me all day long.

And when God is with you all day long, powerful things happen.

Take X for example. Saturday, on a fasting food day, she voluntarily cleaned the house with us…doing things we didn’t ask her to do and asking if she could do more.

Also, during this Fast, she has spent hours and hours writing letters to raise money for the Philippines mission trip. She has voluntarily gave up ALL PRESENTS that would be bought for her throughout 2012 in exchange for that money so she (and the rest of the team) can spread the Gospel and serve those less fortunate.

She gets it.

Not because I’ve forced her to get it, but because she willing sacrificed something everyday. She drew closer to God and God moved in her life in a powerful way.

I forgot I had this post written and saved…but never actually published it. I was reminded when I read Angela’s Daily Word post yesterday – it’s good, check it out.

There are 24 chapters in the book of Joshua. In the first chapter, the Lord commands Joshua, “Do not let his Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so you may be careful to do everything written in it.” When I read that first chapter on January 1st, I knew immediately I was to read a chapter every day – and night.

And so for the first 24 days of the year I have read each chapter twice, once in the morning, once at night. After my second time through each chapter, I journaled the most outstanding thought or concept I took away after the second reading.

Here are a few:

Joshua 1: Be strong & courageous. I am the Lord your God and WILL NEVER leave or forsake you.

Joshua 2: God can cause the hearts and courage of our enemies to MELT.

Joshua 3: The Lord of all the earth goes before us, piling up in a heap all of the things that could carry us away or destroy us.

Joshua 4: HE did this so that all the people of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful.

Joshua 5: After we see a move a God we are much more likely to accept with radical obedience, God’s instructions.

Joshua 7: Joshua was confident, fearless, and courageous when God was doing the work…when God steps back, fear and discouragement  take over.

Joshua 10: When you are OBEDIENT to what God is telling you do do – specifically – you can ask for help and He will help you achieve it!

Joshua 11: Our enemies/obstacles can be as numerous as the sands on a seashore….God promised to deliver us from each and every one.

Joshua 13: There are somethings you can do and other things that GOD HIMSELF will take care of.

Joshua 14: Follow the Lord and obey wholeheartedly – it make take years but God will sustain you and give you strength until you reap your inheritance.

Joshua 15: How long will you wait to take possession of the land your God has promised you?

Joshua 24: It is HE, the Lord, who has gone before me. He has watched over me, fought for me, protected me, and carved a path for me.  If I obey (irrationally) he will work out the details so that I can conquer it.

When I look at the book as a whole, I am overwhelmed with Joshua’s lifelong obedience to God’s commands. He did crazy stuff and succeeded constantly. God revealed himself to Joshua in amazing ways. He showed up and did the impossible while Joshua did the possible.

The conclusion of this journey gave me SO MUCH PEACE. Peace knowing He is constantly fighting for me (and has been all my life), and peace knowing that when I obey he will go before me and work it out.

Every night at dinner for the past 31 days the 4 of us Newcoms have recited Psalm 16:11 after giving thanks for our food.

X had it memorized after only a few days. E recited it to me today (with confidence) for the first time (which brought tears to my eyes).

Now, we will move on to a new memory verse. My goal is a new verse every month. Recited out loud and all together every night at dinner. It’s awesome to have our 4 voices reciting the word of God together.

February’s verse will be JAMES 1:2

I’ve hated being so elusive the past 2 weeks. Sometimes, blogland just has to be the last to find out whats going on.

The short story is that my decision is made. Life is going to remain just as it is now.

The long story is that I was offered a new job. A job where I’d work from home.  Pretty tempting, ey? It’s about as tempting as holding out a donut (or a piece of meat…I’d take either right now!) in my face on Day 17 of this Daniel Fast. And let me tell you, that’s really really tempting!

And yet, the timing of this tempting is not lost on me. Its pretty obvious to anyone who knows me that I’d soooo love to be working part-time right now. I’d really love to be home more – not to just “not work” but because there are a million other things I’d love to be doing instead: Photography, cooking, cleaning, playing with my kids, ministry events, just to name a few.

And don’t get me wrong – I love my job – really, I do – but I’d love it even more with a few less hours. Or if they’d just turn the AC off  or up higher than 72 during the day – that would certainly make my job warmer, and hence more enjoyable.

So…this opportunity is part time and stay at home. Double whammy.

I may not have considered the opportunity if we hadn’t been on the Fast at the time. We were praying for our kids education…what do we do with E right now? is Home Schooling a real option? is private school an option? in what Godly ways does He want us to raise our children?

One might expect when you pray those type of prayers (and while your dying of starvation) an offer like this makes you really step back and see if this God’s will.  My instant thought was that it was indeed from God. This was it – this is exactly how God is going to work out all the “details” of life.

Lucky for me, I have a very realist for a husband. We walked through what a normal day would look like for me working from home and taking care of E. We examined it from every angle possible. Aside from all the realities I knew I’d face, I was ready to jump in. I’ve been starving for more time at home – this was my donut!

Ultimately, the once monthly required travel (did I mention that part?) was the deal breaker. Being gone for 4 consecutive days on what could be short notice just isn’t something that works for Ryan and the kids. Childcare? Meals? Hair? That’s a lot to expect him to do.

The crazy thing is – we had a decision made 10 days ago. When I dialed the man’s number to tell him “no” he emailed me at that exact moment offering me more money. That’s when I lost it a bit.  Confused as heck, we couldn’t come to an agreement about what to do. My driving force was the fear of missing out on something God had for me. Ryan’s was his concern that this would derail us too far from the mission God currently has us on.

After days of tears and hundreds of prayers, I finally came to a point where I was comfortable with either job and  was willing to submit: submit to God’s plan (if this was it) or submit to Ryan’s concerns. I wasn’t in a place of answers but I was certainly in a place of peace.

In the final hours of contemplation and deliberation last night my memory verse for the year came flashing before my eyes – even though it’s been in front of me the entire time….

At the beginning of the year I journaled that I wanted to embrace JOY in working. I knew it wasn’t time for me to go part-time and I needed to shift my focus from finding JOY in my circumstances to finding JOY in God’s presence.

The decision was easy at that point. I’m to stay with Walgreens.

The past 2 weeks have been hard but really eye opening to me. I’ve taken a good look inwardly to see that I need to embrace the JOY of the moment when I am present at home, not just fill my time with all the many to-do’s that seem never ending. Seems like such an easy revelation to come to but to actually make the changes is a whole other story.

Tonight was my first opportunity. I was home by 4pm. I had to make dinner but otherwise, nothing needed to be done before bedtime. I made conscious choices in my words and actions to be really present with the kids. This is my night with 4 hours with them – I must spend it wisely and use those 4 precious hours to invest in them.

When X went to bed she very sincerely thanked me for a fun evening together. She recognized the difference……

I’m not sure how many different ways God has tried to get my attention with this topic. That’s the beauty of a Fast – it opens your eyes and heart to so much more than what you can possibly grasp when your not sacrificing.

Thank you for all your prayers, dear friends. The whole process was worth it because even if my job hasn’t change, my prospective has.

I woke up today and knew I wasn’t going to be weighed down anymore by this decision. God had worked on me and I was ready to move on.

I was off work, so I spent the day with E. We jumped on the trampoline for an hour this afternoon.

It was JOYOUS. Really and truly filled me with joy.

I’ll let the pictures tell the rest…

You can find several versions of the Daniel Fast on the internet. It’s fairly open to interpretation, I suppose. The idea isn’t to get legalistic about but simply decide what you are going to allow and what is off limits.

For Ryan and I, we do fruits, vegetables, and whole grains (oats, brown rice, quinoa). Ryan is giving up coffee completely but still drinking Diet Mt. Dew. I am giving up cream in my coffee – which for me pretty much means I’m giving up coffee. Sigh….

Last year I remember going to the grocery store every other day. It stunk. This year I’ve tried planning ahead. I’ve made lots of sweet potato fries in advance and froze them. I spent $250 at HEB on Thursday on pretty much fruit and vegetables alone. Plus $180 at Costco getting tons of potatoes, onions, fruit, and Vitamin Waters.

We still allow ourselves Vitamin Water. I think I’d die without it. Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but I will drink 3-4 a day.

My kitchen counter after my shopping runs.

Sadly, these berries will probably only last us 4-5 days with Ryan, X, and me having Smoothies every morning.

Guacamole. A favorite during the fast.

My refrigerator drawers are busting at the seems with veggies. But I won’t lie – the color and freshness of it all makes me smile.

I had to get some to-go’s for me to take to work.

Love these on my daily salads.

Discovered these at the end of last years fast.  I bought 4 bags…that will probably get us through 1 week.

I also bought stuff I’ve never bought before. I’ve got lots of new recipes I’d like to try.

So….I’ve got my food (at least enough for a week). We are ready to go.

Let’s do this thing!!

Last January Ryan and I joined the AWAKENING movement and did a 21 day spiritual Daniel fast*. I had never done a fast before so the idea scared me to death. We made it through all 21 days and went on the have the most amazing year of our lives together.

As this January approached we both knew we were all in. How could we even think of going into this new year without seeking God’s will in this powerful way? In a way, it’s like there’s no turning back.

It’s just that awesome of an experience.

I will say that is is HARD. All I do is think about food. But that is where you meet GOD. With every thought of food, you pray – simply talk to God. In essence, you’re in constant communication with HIM. Kind of like we’re in constant communication with one another in society these days.

When I saw this quote about JOY I immediately thought of the fast. There is suffering. And while it might not sound JOYFUL, to most it probably sounds painful – but there is an incredible and indescribable JOY in being in the presence of GOD all day.

It is helpful if there is a specific thing you are praying for during the fast. That way, when you think about food and turn to God, you know exactly what to start talking about.

Last year I prayed for acceptance of this “new life” that I felt God was showing me. I just kept hearing, “THIS is what I have for you.” I didn’t know exactly what “this” was but I really wanted to step out and take find “this” .

I’m fairly certain I saw some of what “this” was throughout the rest of the year.

• I’ve moved out of my dream home and into a, well lets just say, smaller – more humble home.
• We are super close to being 100% financially free
• My husband is in Seminary and working as Life Group Pastor at our church
• I’m working days again

I can’t even IMAGINE what I’ll be reflecting back on as I start 2013. I would have never dreamed 2011 would be what it was.

“God can do anything, you know – far more than you can ever imagine, or guess, or request in your wildest dreams!” Ephesians 3:20

This year, Ryan and I are praying for our children’s education and general direction in raising them. I’ll get more specific over the next 21 days, as I hope to journal through it all here on the blog.

Think about joining in. Maybe it’s just for 3 days. Or 7 days. Or even if it’s not food – but something instead, like Facebook.  You won’t regret it.

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*Specifically the Daniel fast is where you eat nothing but fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. No meat. No dairy. No bread. Nothing processed. I’ll post more on this specifically very soon. Like later today. Maybe. Both kids are home.