I woke up today and knew I wasn’t going to be weighed down anymore by this decision. God had worked on me and I was ready to move on.

I was off work, so I spent the day with E. We jumped on the trampoline for an hour this afternoon.

It was JOYOUS. Really and truly filled me with joy.

I’ll let the pictures tell the rest…

Well, I’ve crossed the half way mark.

I made it through my crazy weekend without breaking the fast, that is a success all on its own.  I resisted muffins and pastries, lunch meat sandwiches, cookies, soda, queso, and enchiladas.

X has now fasted 3 full days (not in a row) and she successfully resisted pizza and birthday cake on Saturday only to come home and eat peanut butter on rice crackers. That’s success. Her other fasting days of television, iPad, iPod, and sweets are also going well. The fasting tv on a weekend is hard for her but really, I’m glad it’s hard. It needs to be hard for her to feel the sacrifice. Most days goes by and she can’t even remember what she’s fasting that day.

I don’t have that problem. I remember every minute of the day what I am fasting from.

My overall hunger pains have gone away but I’m sluggish. Not my normal, efficient self. Maybe that’s from lack of coffee or maybe it’s just God’s way of slowing me down. Whichever, I don’t like being tired all the time so I’m relying on God’s strength alone to get me up and moving every day.

I’ve been making a lot of the same stuff over and over. Sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, vegetable soup, salads, rice stir fry, and smoothies.

I did try this new recipe on Friday night though:

Cowboy Caviar Quinoa

It was quite delicious. So much so, I made more of it for today.

The hardest part of the fast I would say is working. Finding food to bring and eat at work. It takes foresight and planning – both of which I don’t usually have before I go to work. So I end up bringing a sweet potato, microwaving it, then eating it plain. Not the best but it works.

I know that God is really working on me right now. I think that’s why I’m a (self proclaimed) emotional mess. I don’t want to miss out on what God has for me but at the same time it’s hard to know if He’s really calling me to radically change so much so fast. I feel His presence all around me – I’m in constant dialogue with Him. Sadly, though, I’m not very joyful. I want to be but can’t seem to shake the weight of this decision.

I’ve sought advice from every wise source I know. The best advice I received from my Mother-in-Law last night was, “go back to Hawaii – you seem to make decisions easily there.” Amen? Amen.

I can’t tell you how much it means to me that so many people are praying for me and this decision right now. I thank God for you.

Currently I’ve been…an emotional mess. By mess I mean I’ve been crying a lot. By a lot I mean several times a day.

Currently faced with…a huge decision. Probably the biggest decision I’ve made since the Purdue/Kentucky decision back in 1997. But this time around I can’t sit on the edge of my parent’s bed weighing the 2 choices till late at night like I did back then. Only to decide by a coin toss later…

Currently reading…The Mockingjay – the 3rd book in the Hunger Games series. It’s not nearly has exciting as the first 2 books and it’s taking me a while to get through it.

Currently drinking…3 Vitamin Waters and 2-4 Flavored Nestle Waters every single day. I’m also peeing a lot more as well.

Currently thrilled…to be done with my Alpha Xi Delta Area Wide Training and driving to San Marcos for meetings (I trained my new Advisor today!!)

Currently thankful…for not having to take X to the salon to get her gigantic nest she was allowing to grow in her hair cut out. It seems that every since Florida (2 weeks ago) she’s had some trouble getting the brush though her hair. Instead of coming to me, she let the problem grow, and grow, until I could smell the mildew-y smell coming from her head. I told her I would fix her hair this the morning so she didn’t have to pull it back. That’s when I discovered it. It took all day to untangle that hot  mess.

Currently loving…sweet potato anything. Give me 11 more days and I’ll change my mind.

Currently listening to…the audiobook “IT” by Craig Groeschel while I’m cooking. Which seems to be a lot these days.

Currently reading…the Book of Joshua in the Bible. It’s theme is God giving the Israelite’s their inheritance of (promised) land. But they had to fight for it – he didn’t just hand it over to them. He showed them, then made them work for it before giving them rest.  Interesting….

Currently wearing…my glasses because my eye allergies are super bad right now.

Currently excited…about our new nanny, Alicia. She starts tomorrow morning. I’m excited for Ryan – to get more work done – and for E to have someone to interact with and play with on a daily basis.

Currently up to date…with my Project Life journaling for 2012. Not so much for 2010 or 2011.

Currently behind…on cleaning my house.

Currently…fluffy, blankey, and the DS rarely leave E’s side. Yes, he’s hiding under the Purdue blanket so he’s not in the picture.

Currently very…tired. Exhausted really. I can’t believe tomorrow is Monday…way too busy of a weekend.

Currently hoping…to blog more and take more pictures this week.

It’s been a busy week.

I should have did more last week when I was on vacation but I procrastinated. So I’m left with late nights.

My one “big event” for my volunteer work with Alpha Xi Delta is this Saturday in Austin: Texas Area Wide Training. I’ve got folders to put together, presentations to prepare, and still some details to figure out.

On top of that Sunday I am training a Chapter Advisor for my Texas State chapter. Super excited about that! But I’ll be in San Marcos all Sunday evening.

And I’m interviewing for a part time nanny.

And needing to cook all my food from scratch.

And work.

Hence, the late nights.

Late at night is the worst time to be hungry. I crave cereal so badly. No fruits or veggies sound good at 11:30 pm. By that point I’ve drank so much fluid during the day that another beverage makes me want to explode (literally, my bladder cringes).

The other night I broke down and made sweet potato tater tots. Ryan was already asleep so I had the entire bag to myself. And frankly, I could have ate them all in one sitting, but I limited myself to one plateful.

Last night I was suffering from a serious headache, cramps, and lack of energy. I broke down.

I had a cup of coffee.

I thought about licking the cup dry. I felt instantly better. Like – a zillion time better….. I stayed up till 2 am getting tons done – kind of better.

Today is a big day. I’m gearing up to see God move.

The past couple days have been a struggle. They were last year too.  It’s the “detox” period, I suppose. It didn’t help that Saturday morning I woke up at 4am with what we locals like to call “cedar fever”. Basically, horrible allergies: sneezing, stuffy/runny nose, and itchy eyes. It’s eased a little bit but that certainly didn’t help my energy level.

The lack of coffee is, well, just what you’d think…..miserable.

With all that whining out of the way, I have to say that it has been amazing. God is moving in our lives already – so much so that it’s kinda freaked me out. When I pray for direction, for the Lord’s will and path, and a way to “make it all work” – I cannot dismiss the things that has already happened in the past 4 days. He is really working in us.

Here’s a little glimpse of some of the past few days:

Saturday morning I spent a few hours in the kitchen prepping food and making a couple meals to keep the mouths while I’m gone at work.

Smoothies are our BFF in the morning. I found a MUCH better protein powder than we used last year.

I look pretty pathetic here. Stupid allergies. I woke up at 4 am and got a shower just to try and clear my head.  I then went back to sleep in the recliner with my hair wet. I’m only justifying my patheticness to my self….I’m sure anyone else could care less.

I helped X make some guacamole.

She is on a “rotating fast”. Meaning every 3rd day she is doing the Daniel fast, the other days she alternates between iPAD/iPOD/DS and TV/Movies/Sweets.

E isn’t fasting anything. As a matter of fact, he ate cinnamon rolls in front of X Saturday morning and tried rubbing it into her face. I’ll admit, X handled it quite well.

On Sunday night I made Black Bean Sweet Potato Tacos with Swiss chard pesto.

Except I could eat the taco shell so I put it on a bead of lettuce.

It was quite good actually.  A little dry, but tasty.

With those leftovers, I made this last night:

I couldn’t believe how good this was. Sweet potato with salt, blackbenas, red onion, avacado and pico de gallo.

It was so good I had another one just tonight for dinner.

Lot’s more recipes to try….17 days left.